singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
