You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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