And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
