I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize