So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
