I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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