On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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