So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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