YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
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I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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