new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
