It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
