my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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