About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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