I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
