We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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