also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
