Got a toothbrush?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
