Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
