yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
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I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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