Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
