the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
