uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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