He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
