Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My ass is underappreciated
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
