i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
