i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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