i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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