K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
