She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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