He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
