I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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