weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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