Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
