Jerry, you need to find god
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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