you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
