Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
