Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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