i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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