He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
