3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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