guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize