glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
