I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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