4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
