question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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