maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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