What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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