Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
