my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
