I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
foreskin is a definite game changer
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
