i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
