we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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