I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
