i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
