I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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