We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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