I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
