I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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