Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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