He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
