Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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