yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
