I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
