Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
