1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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